The Courage to Trust
As I stepped outside, I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. Did I make a mistake? I have no idea what I'm doing! Did I not hear you right, God?
As the tears turned to sobs, I recalled a conversation just days earlier. A conversation about Shark Tank. Yes, Shark Tank the TV show. On the show, aspiring entrepreneurs give the "Sharks" or what you and I would call investors, the pitch for their great idea. The "sharks" respond with yes I will invest or "I'm out".
My tears were caused by my finances. I took a part-time job at a retail store in September. I'll call it my safety net. I could work part-time and keep the cash flowing while I built my business. So far, so good.
January. The month when the retai business dries up. January - the month when people reduce their shopping. January - is a very lean month for the average retail worker.
Our hours have been drastically cut. What had been a safety net for me for months had now unraveled into covering my cable bill. Turns out, safety nets are not so safe after all.
Over coffee and bagels, my friend explained that the "sharks" never take entrepreneurs that are still working their full-time job. They don't "want" it bad enough. My friend explained I was in the perfect place to go forward with my new business.
I have no idea how but I felt God's gentle nudge that day. The decrease in hours in a gift. Stop trusting in your job. Trust in me and go after your business. See what I will do.
I was full of confidence in God and his plan until I walked into work to find my reduced hours had been reduced even further. Eight hours in one week does not keep Moose in the style he's accustomed to!
The ugly head of fear reared and I was panicking. For a brief moment - in the time it took me to drive home from one side of Maple Grove to the other - I was in a tailspin of worry. Imagining I was one dollar away from living in a box at the parking ramp by the library.
But then I remembered. Thanks to my aunt and God's provision. I was okay for now financially. I could still make my bills and pursue my business. The gentle nudge came back to remind me to do my job. To remind me to TRUST.
TRUST. It seems simple to say but hard to live out.
A mere week later I was sitting in my coaching class as my instructor told the story of a networking session where they were discussing trust. Out of nowhere it became clear to me. One of the participants in the networking sessions said, "It takes courage to trust."
Yes, it does. It takes courage to take God at His Word. It takes courage to trust that God will be faithful with what we lay at His feet. It takes courage to not let every twist and turn to derail us.
What do you need to trust God for?
Maybe it's a job that's in danger of a lay-off. Or a wayward child. Does God know what is happening? Does He know what He's doing? It could be a relationship that needs mending. Or a marriage that needs to be refreshed. Whatever it is, how do we find the courage to trust?
I recently saw a Facebook post by Ann Voskamp. In it, she reminded me that God is always at work. Jesus is always at work. The Spirit is always at work. She ended with this. "So though your hands do many jobs, your work is always, simply one thing: TRUST."
To be honest, that went straight to the heart. All the while thinking I'm trusting God, have I been trusting in my ability to make money myself? Do I trust the income from my part-time job more than I simply trust God?
Wherever you are on your journey, your job is to simply trust.
So, I'm back to seeing my lessened hours as a gift. Everyday, I get to work on my business. Coaching others. Writing for others. Speaking for others. Living out my passion. Living out my purpose. And in the end, doing the job that truly matters. Simply trusting God with each step.
What is God asking you to simply trust Him for this week?