The Courage To Ask For Help
It was a bright winter day over 10 years ago when I took a deep breath, shot up a quick prayer, and entered the Baker's Square. My friend of many years was waiting for me. My friend of many years who had rarely heard me ask for anything.
You see, I was in a bit of a pity party. My friend was mentoring lots of women my age. She was slightly older than me and my peers. And had great wisdom. Before I knew it, she was doing this great Bible study with my friends. One-on-one. Meeting weekly. Imparting wisdom.
To this day, I'm not sure if it was jealousy. Or the knowledge that I needed her wisdom too. But I was in a bit of snit over this. Why didn't she want to do this Bible study with me? Wasn't I important?
The Christian counselor I was seeing at the time left me speechless with a simple question: Have you asked her?
What? I need to ask her? Shouldn't she just know what I need and want to do it before I ask?
For years, I had been anti-ask. You know, you don't ask for help. You wait for it to arrive. Askers needed help. Waiters accepted help. For some reason, there was a huge difference in my mind.
Somewhere along my journey, I had decided that asking for help was way too out there. What if people saw me as weak? As not having it together? As needy? Or even worse, what if they rejected my ask for help? What would I do then?
Somehow, I believed that strong women don't ask for help.
I was wrong. And that day, right in the Baker's Square, I learned that no woman becomes strong by refusing to ask for help. We become strong by having the courage to be vulnerable with those who love us. We become strong when we exercise the courage to ask for help.
Since that day, I've had moments where my counselors words echo in my mind. Have you asked for help? Do they even know how they could help you? And other days, when I revert back to a young 20-something still clinging to a "never show weakness" philosophy of life.
In the midst of it all, God has put me on a journey to ask for what I need, trust my people, and ultimately, trust God who has blessed me with more people than I can possibly keep up with.
I reflect on this because I am in a season of asking for help.
Starting a business includes, by its very nature, a lot of asking and less waiting. As I seek to make connections, get my business and my name "out there", and meet people who know my people I've had to ask for help. Help in networking. Help in business advice. Help financially from my aunt to set me on my feet while I build. Help from my friend Heidi creating logos and marketing materials. Help with those who know Quickbooks and other things that I can show my tax person in April. Help in doing business with me and referring my business. Just help.
It's still hard. Asking for help is not easy because it requires vulnerability. We are laying our heart and needs at someone's feet and wondering if they are willing. We are wondering if they are able. We are wondering if somehow God will come through the person sitting in front of us.
But it's not just about starting a business. It can be about needing a financial hand when times are desperate. It can be about needing a meal when your whole family is sick, including you. It can be about being unable to do something that needs to be done at your house. From setting up a new TV to moving some furniture around to a little help organizing when you are not exactly gifted in this area.
Everyone of us needs people. We need a community who does life together. We need a community that helps one another. We need a safe place to be vulnerable, lay our heart on the table, and simply ask for help.
I don't know about you, but I want to be the kind of person that my friends can ask for help. And little by little, I want to be the kind of person that is willing to lay my heart on the table and ask for help.
What about you? I'd love to help. What do you need help with today?