Following God When He Doesn't Make Sense
I was sitting at the small table in the brightly colored room being coached by a fellow student. This particular student had been a fount of inspiration for me in previous conversations. A go-getter by anyone standards, she left her job four years earlier to start her own business and to be honest, puts me to shame when it comes to entrepreneurial spirit and business plans.
We were talking about me. My hopes. My fears. And really the question that has been hanging over my head to the last six months. Can I really do this thing? By this thing, I meant can I really be self-employed? Can I really lead and run my own business? Can I really make money at doing the things I love?
I wake up and on many days, the little voice inside my head comments on my lack of production. My lack of a marketing plan. My lack of actually feeling like I know what I'm doing.
As my new friend and I talked, she made a very accurate observation about me. I just need things in my life to make sense. Is it logical? Does it seem like it's coming together? Do I know what I'm doing in the business thing?
Such an ironic observation! She was right, you know. I'm logical - I blame my Allen genes. I need things to be in order - to make sense. I need a plan in place and then I work the plan.
The ironic part is that this seems to be the year of not making sense!
God told me to quit my job without having another one lined up.
I started a business when I don't know the first thing about running or leading a business.
I don't know how to sell things. (P.S. Hated when I had to sell the girl scout cookies. Enough said!)
And then I realized that God doesn't always make sense in the Bible!
He told Noah to build a boat at a time when he couldn't remember when the last rain fall had happened.
He told Israel to march around the walls of Jericho seven times instead of attacking with their weapons.
He told Abraham that he would become a father in his nineties. He went on to father a nation as numerous as the stars in the skies and the sand on the seashore.
Sometimes God does His best work when we stop trying to make sense and embrace trusting Him.
This year was supposed to be the year of choosing. Choosing God. Choosing how I show up in the world. Choosing to eat better. Choosing to live better.
But somewhere in the middle of February, God has changed my year. This is the year that I stop insisting that everything make sense. This is the year I stop putting God in the boxes I am constructing. This is the year of nonsense.
It's not going to be easy. You see, my default button goes to logic. It goes to seeing life in a linear "if you do this, then this will result" kind of way.
And yet, life isn't always about lines. And as much as I'd like life to be a formula of doing this + doing that = exactly the way life is supposed to be, life just doesn't work that way. God doesn't work that way.
I don't know about you, but God's been asking me to step into a lot of nonsense lately. Trust me to provide. Start a business without knowing your next step. Trust me with your marketing plan. I'm more secure than a steady part-time job. Just to name a few.
How about you? What is God asking of you that doesn't make sense? What is God asking of you that seems out of your realm of possibility? What are you and I dismissing because it seems too crazy? Too out of character? Too not normal for our people? (Anything like walking around a wall for seven days?)
Yeah, me too. God is way crazier, in a good way, that I ever thought He was. And yet, in this crazy, adventure-filled, nonsense year of my life, God is good. God is providing. Providing income. Providing clients. Providing opportunities. And truth be told, I've never felt more alive with God on this crazy year of nonsense.
Before I go, I'd love to hear what crazy thing God is asking of you right now? Let's get nonsensical together!