For When You Feel Lost

When was the last time your felt lost?  Not like on a road trip and looking at the map lost.  More like how did I get here lost.  More like I thought I knew who I was but somehow my circumstances or my career path or my relationships feel off and I'm wondering who I am anymore lost. 

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If we're honest, we each have our lost moments.  Moments when we feel stuck in life.  Stuck in a career.  Stuck in a relationship.  Stuck in a place.  Stuck in our thinking.  And it's in those moments, when we can start to feel lost.  

My own lost moment

As a life coach, I'm not sure I like admitting this, but I had my own lost moment last Thursday.  Coaching is a profession that helps others find clarity and purpose and well, get them unlost.  And as I sat in a session with my own coach, my self talk focused on trying to coach myself. 

You know what I did instead?  I cried.  That's right.  First is gentle tears.  Then in flowing tears.  I'll just remind you I haven't been coaching with him long.  And oh, I don't like to cry in front of others either.  

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I had to admit I was lost.  The things I once felt to sure about were in the rear view mirror.  What got me there you ask?  Well a little social media comparison started it.  Look at all these online coaches.  Expectations of where I SHOULD be by now.  (Never SHOULD on yourself, just saying)  The topper?  Turning 50 is messing with my mind. 

And as I write about my own lost moment, I'm wondering about your lost moments.  Moments when you go to work for the 365th day realizing you don't like what you do.  Moments where you wonder if your dreams of yesterday fit into your life of today.  Moments when relationship seem stuck and are not working.  Moments when you want to contribute but you can't remember what you're good at.  

So, what are we to do with these lost moments in life?  I've wrestled a few things down in the last 5 days. 

1. Admit where you are

Here's the thing.  I don't know if you're anything like me, but I like to have it all together.  I don't like admitting that I'm lost.  I don't like people trying to fix me. I like to know and have arrived. 

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But just like your last road trip, we don't become unlost by stubborning refusing to say we're lost.  We find our way when we let someone (your road trip buddy, the guy at the gas station, your waitress at lunch) that you are LOST. 

In the same way, let's be willing to admit that sometimes we let our feelings drive and we get a little lost.  The best part is, that God knows exactly where you are even when you feel lost. 

2. Give yourself permission to sit with it

Step 2.  Give yourself some permission and grace.  I don't like the feeling of being lost.  But I often dig myself in deeper when I try to fix it in 5 minutes, or 1 hr, or even 1 day.  Sometimes the journey of being lost is what bring clarity on our next steps.  So sit with being in between.  Admit to yourself that you want a change but you don't know where to start.  Give yourself space to wait on God to show up.  

3. Lean into your story

Part of my recent journey is realizing that I'm passionate about the story God is writing in each of our lives.  I'm passionate about helping women see that purpose is found in the story they are already living.  And that when we embrace our story, we discover who we are, who God created us to be and the confident next steps to live our purpose.  

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But we don't discover our next steps without leaning into the story God is already writing.  We lean in my tracing our life map.  We lean in by embracing where we are and the places and people God has given us.  We lean in my connecting our story to God's story which leads us to live a greater story.  

Leaning into your story will help you uncover your purpose and your path.  It will help you understand who you are from the inside out.  It will give you faith that your story matters and that God made you on purpose for a purpose.  It all starts with your story. 

4. Talk it out

Find your people and talk it out.  It's a funny thing about feeling lost.  Our clearest moments are not in the middle of being lost.  In fact, as my friend Mary Kay likes to say, the negative committee meeting in your head is getting a little loud at this point. 

But our people?  They can weed out the negative and tell us how it really is.  They know who you are what you're good at.  They can see what brings you joy and what isn't a fit.  They have your back.  They want God's best for you. 

So find one or two or ten of those people.  Choose to be curious about what they see in you.  Write it all down and look for a baby step to lean into a new path or the old one.  

I've been working on my own inner mindset when it comes to One Foot Coaching. I've been working on living and demonstrating that life coaching has value.  And when it comes to getting unlost, coaches are specifically trained and equipped to help your find clarity in the middle of your story. 

If you're new to the blog, you may not know that I don't typically brag on my skills.  But I'm going to say this...

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I believe I can help you find clarity and purpose in the story that God is already writing for your life. I believe that together we can help you find your path and live with purpose. If you are feeling lost or need a change and don't know how to get there, then I'm your gal.  

Here's the deal.  I offer a free initial session.  It's low on selling and high on getting you some results from the first meeting.  While I'd love to have you become a client, I'm more interested in helping you find your way back to God, back to your purposeful path, and finding your unique contribution to your work and God's kingdom.  

Booking the free initial session is easy.  Click the button below and schedule a time that works for you.  We'll meet at a coffee shop, I'll buy the coffee, and we'll talk about your story, your dreams, and what might help you become unlost once again. 

Danielle AllenComment