Staying thankful for your people all year long
I’ve been working through Jesus Always this year as my morning devotional. Each morning, after brewing my morning coffee, I sit down on my couch and read this devotional which gives me a little thought from Jesus and some verses to back that thought up.
As an Enneagram type 3, I’m prone to rush through it - so I force myself to slow down, read it twice, and pray through each Bible verse mentioned. Lately, the focus has been on being thankful. Focusing on thanksgiving and gratitude, I’ve been reminded that you and I can choose to be thankful and grateful. And when you and I show up thankful, it opens our hearts to God and what He is doing in and through us.
With the exception of November, I tend to take a lot for granted. My things. My home. My life. Most of all, my people. It’s not that I’m not thankful for them. It’s just that I don’t always thank God for them, especially when they are on my last nerves. Anyone else struggle with this? No? Moving on…
But something has changed for me since picking up this tool called the Enneagram. Don’t get me wrong, I still sometimes struggle to slow down and be thankful for those God has placed in my life. But I’ve also learned to appreciate the way God has made me and how He made me different than the people He’s placed in my life. So, how do you and I go about learning to be thankful and appreciative of our people?
It starts with you
That’s right. It’s starts with us - meaning your relationship with you. Your own ability to embrace how you were made directly impacts how you embrace people who are different than you. I’ve often heard it said that the people who drive us most crazy are people who remind us of ourselves. Deep down. The place where we never let anyone see. Maybe it triggers a fear. Or a struggle you’ve been trying to work on. Or something we’ve been avoiding.
When I started exploring the Enneagram for myself, before I shared it with my coaching clients, I discovered a few things. The Enneagram exposed those places that I was prone to struggle. It also helped me start loving all of me…the best of me and the worst of me. It helped me reconnect with who I was on the inside and reminded me that everything about my personality and my tendencies - they all belonged.
If we’re going to choose to be thankful for others in our lives, it starts with being thankful for who God designed us to be.
Understanding your people
Being thankful for the gift of people in my life includes appreciating how they’re different. So many of the people who have blessed me and loved me, are nothing like me. They think differently. They love differently. They show up differently. We can let that drive a wedge between us and others or we can see from a new perspective.
The Enneagram is designed to help us understand our own core fears, desires, and inner motivations. But as I’ve grown in understanding myself, it’s also helped me grow in understanding the people God has placed in my life. Some of my friends have a core desire for justice and making things right. Others have a desire for connection. And still others desire security. No one way is wrong. They all belong and can teach us about God, ourselves, and the world around us.
Being thankful for your people includes understanding that leads to compassion. When we can understand who they are, what is driving them, and what they’re desiring, we can choose to be thankful for both our similarities and our differences. Connecting with our people in compassion? There is beauty in those places. And I don’t know about you - but I long for more beauty in my everyday life.
Slowing down and being present
You may not struggle with this one, but I do. I naturally want to keep moving, and getting things done. Sometimes I’m so busy getting things done, that I fail to slow down and notice the good in the people around me. How they serve others so effortlessly. Or how they love others by speaking truth into their lives. How they find just the right moment to bring a cheerful word. Or to sit silently in someone’s grief.
The reason we don’t notice? It’s because we’re not always present. We’re trying to get somewhere, or get something done, or (guilty of this one myself) checking our social media. What if you and I just slowed down and chose to be present? Being present with our people - whether it’s on Thanksgiving or every other day of the year - is a gift. It’s a gift because it says “you matter”, “I care enough to stop what I’m doing and listen”, and “I’m thankful for your presence in my life.”
Understanding the wisdom of the Enneagram has done just that for me. It’s helped me slow down and be aware of my propensity to not slow down (it’s weird, but true). It’s helped me understand and be aware of how I get in my own way of being thankful for others. It’s helped me appreciate that God has placed people who are beautifully different from me in my life and how to appreciate that the way they see the world is different than how I see it.
Here’s the thing. You don’t need to know your type or the type of your people to be thankful for them. If you know me at all, I’m a big believer in connection, and asking questions, and listening to people. And you can do that without a personality system - just by being present this Thanksgiving and all the days until the next Thanksgiving.
And if you want to know more about the Enneagram to help you understand yourself and your people better, I’m here for you. I offer a FREE discovery session for us to talk Enneagram, answer your questions, and see if exploring the Enneagram + the Gospel is the right next step for you in showing up thankful for who God made you to be and the people God has placed in your life.
