The Do's and Don'ts of Narrowing Down Your Enneagram Type
When it comes to using the Enneagram to grow in your faith, the most important thing to focus on is identifying your type. Why you may ask? It’s not to know that you know your type, or even to be able to call out a number with confidence the next time you chat with friends about it. The reason it’s important? Because each type has their own individual growth path. And if you and I want to use the Enneagram to grow, then we need to narrow down that type.
The chief issue with narrowing down our type? It can be confusing. Most people who discover their type and know for sure which type they are can experience a little uncertainty on the road to get there. In my own journey, I thought I was two other types before I landed the plane and confirmed my type. This whole process is confusing because, as humans, we’re not always great at observing ourselves and understand the why behind the things we do.
Enter this blog post. Whether you’re just learning about the Enneagram or know about all nine types but are still stumped about which type is really you, then keep reading because I’ve got you covered with some Do’s and Don’ts of narrowing down your type.
DO: Focus on motivations
So many of us focus on the behaviors behind each type. If we like spreadsheets and getting everything perfect, we think we’re a type 1. If we like fun, we assume we’re a type 7. To be honest, those things could be true, but here’s two simple facts. One, type is not formed by outward behaviors. but by core motivations. It’s more important to understand why you like things perfect to be a type 1, then to know you like them perfect. Second, all nine types could like fun, not just type 7s. So dig deeper below your natural behaviors to narrow down type.
DO: Take your time - it’s a journey not a sprint
The biggest mistake I see with people wanting to identify their type is that they are in a hurry. As Americans, we want to find our type on the first read through of that popular Enneagram book. The truth is — most people need to ponder their type over time. Most people need to observe themselves and look for they why behind the things they do, think, and feel. Most people need to take it slow and note those repeated patterns of behavior. I often recommend that people try potential types on like a piece of clothing to see if they fit. Know that the point isn’t to have a number to shout out at that next party when the topic comes up, but to grow through self-discovery which can take a little time of getting to know ourselves and how we show up in the world.
DON’T: Focus on behaviors
We’re all guilty of focusing on behaviors first. See my point above about motivations. I often run into people who have more questions than answers because they don’t meet all the behavior descriptions of one type or another. Or, they believe a quality they have would never be something a type 8 would do. When narrowing down our type, we need to get that out of our heads and focus on our core fears, core desires, core struggle, and that message our heart longs to hear to really narrow in on type.
DON’T: Compare yourself to others or those Enneagram memes
Don’t get me wrong. I love those memes. I even create some of those memes/infographics. The problem? You are not your type, you have a type. To dig a little deeper, that means all type 3s aren’t workaholics, and all type 6s don’t have anxiety around the same things. God made us unique and different. Those memes and even comparing yourself to others of the same type just leads to stereotypes and some confusion on our part.
All that to say, we can get hyper focused on having a type to our detriment. There is not rush or race to narrow down your type. Focus on discovering who you really are and your Enneagram type + growth practices that truly help you will fall into place. And if you feel stuck and would like some help, I’d be honored to work with you in one of my Enneagram typing sessions where we’ll talk about an overview of the Enneagram, ask questions customized to narrow down your type, and go through a deep dive of the type you most resonate with to get some clarity.
Have you already found your type? I’d love to hear what helped you narrow down your type and how you’ve been using the Enneagram to grow!
